I’ve entered new terrain, and I feel like that elephant is just lurking waiting for any opportunity.
The new areas you open yourself up to once you start running and commit to something like a marathon, are like nothing I ever anticipated.
And it’s mostly personal, like no one else really knows you are experiencing it, unless you share it of course.
Did you know that runner’s can actually experience anxiety for ‘missed runs’ once they get in a rhythm of a program. The thought of missing runs for any reason can produce anxiety and stress at the potential for lost conditioning.
I don’t know ‘clinically’ to what level I’ve experienced this but I know when I heard it I was thinking ‘yup, uh huh’
Getting COVID really got me thinking, beyond any thoughts of my health related to COVID. It was about my running and what I might be losing.
Today’s run was great to get me out but I’m not sure it really helped with the ‘lost condition’ anxiety.
The choice to think forward is a powerful and important gift in running, as in life.
I notice the anxiety only comes from entertaining a ‘lack of’ which is irrelevant in what we’re going to do next.
Finding meaning in what’s next is the power of the gift of choice that is ours alone. Victor Frankl taught us that.
Below is the pics in sequence of what I did. You can see I didn’t get all that far and hard to stop… because of course it meant I had a 4km ‘warm down’ walk back)
I was proud of myself for stopping when I did. It was hard to stop but it was right. I have feelings of failure that I have to process. The masculine competitive drive is deep seated.
Did I mention it was hard to stop?
